Tag Archives: “The Help”

“Am I Gone Believe What Them Fools Say About Me Today?”: A Lesson I Got From the Movie “The Help”

17 Aug

Promotion poster for "The Help"

I went to see the movie “The Help”  with my closest girl friend last night and am sad to report that it wasn’t really good, in my humble opinion. I didn’t read the book of the same name by Kathryn Stockett beforehand, though – maybe that had something to do with my disappointment? Anyway, my review doesn’t have much to do with what I’d like to say today. But if you’re interested in chatting about the movie, feel free to send me an e-mail or message  and we’ll definitely talk!

“Every morning, until you dead in the ground, you gone have to make a decision. You gone have to ask yourself, ‘Am I gone believe what them fools say about me today?’ “

After the movie ended, this was the one quote I remembered that stuck with me on the way home. (Without spoiling the movie for you if you haven’t seen it already), it was said by one of the housemaid characters, Constantine, who spent a large part of her life raising the main character, a plucky privileged character named Eugenia/”Skeeter”. 13-year-old Skeeter is feeling sorry for herself after another boy her age tells her that she’s ugly. Constantine sees her crying, sits down with her, and gives her the quoted line of advice that Skeeter never forgets. The “fools” Constantine was talking about were white racists. I think the line is powerful, because it can be applied to anybody.

As a victim of any kind of abuse – not just rape – you’re going to come across a handful of people who will try to put you down for being in a weaker position … that is, if you haven’t or aren’t already dealing with those kind of people.

“You’re not good enough for __ in life.”

“No one will ever love you.”

“You’re fat/dumb/ugly/worthless, and you need to know your place.”

“Don’t nobody give a damn about you! What, you think you got problems, so you’re special, huh?”

“That’s what you get for being fat/dumb/ugly/worthless.”

“You deserved it.”

“Get over it, for God’s sake.”

It hurts like hell to feel like the bottom of the world’s shoe – so don’t allow yourself to feel that way. I know it’s easier said than done, trust me. Every day it’s a struggle for me after years of receiving messages that I allowed to weigh my spirit down. But take notice of the word I used in that last sentence: allow. Take a look at the quote from the movie again, and notice that it says: make a decision. Whether you find it difficult to believe or not, you have complete and total control over your self-image. Anybody can have any opinion about you, but no one has enough power over you to make their opinion fact.

It’s impossible to fix everything all at once, so like the quote says, try taking your feelings one day at a time. Just one for day at a time, try not to absorb anyone’s opinion about yourself but your own. If you want to believe that you’re strong enough to get out of poverty, or leave an abusive partner, or make friends who value you the way you deserve to be valued as a human being, then believe it just for today and see what happens. Ignore the fools who say or do anything that doesn’t agree with you.

The American Civil Rights movement began when a few people decided to reject the idea that they were inferior to anyone. Will you do the same for your future?