Archive | August, 2012

A Letter to My Rapist

20 Aug

Dear N,

I’ve been missing in action for so long that I know you thought I was gone for good. You never hesitate to tell the world when you think you’ve won. I’m sorry to disappoint you this time.

It took me quite a while – almost 2 years to be exact – but I’m back. And just like I promised, I’m armed with the truth and ready for war.

Remember when you were driving me home, after you held me in place and got your sexual jollies out of me on that cold cut of wooden table, and I screamed that you should have killed me? I meant it, but back then it was for a different reason. Because of what you did to me, I wanted to die. I used to pray every night that I would go to sleep and stay that way. I kept breathing, every day feeling angrier than the day before because my prayer went unanswered.

Today, I’m so glad I told you those words, because I’m alive with blood boiling in my veins, and you are finally, finally going to be made to regret the terrible things you did to me. You’re going to remember my name one more time. When everything is said and done and your life and reputation lie in ruins around you – just like you did to me – you will sorely wish that on the day you raped me, you used some of your perverted strength to put me in the ground. That instead of handing me my skirt and driving me home, you beat me to death or drove me off a cliff. Because you left me alive, God has avenged me.

I would do anything to be around on the day that you get the sheet of paper that tells you I’m back – but you can imagine me sitting at home with a bowl of popcorn and a smile instead.

Thank you for giving me the most satisfying moment of my life.

Until we meet again,

E.A.